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You have a problem. Great. If you go deeper into your problem - what will you get? Yes - you will understand that problem. If that helps, go for it. In my case, when I call something a “problem”, it is something I don’t want.
Follow These 3 Steps:
1) Question to ask yourself: given I have this problem, what would I like instead?
2) Do you have an answer? It has to be something YOU can change/create (not somebody else).
3) Create a plan. What is the smallest possible step you can take right now? Any solution always presents itself in the disappearance of the problem!
1) I have a problem with my boss. She is unfair and blames me.
2) What do I want: I want her to be fair and kind - wrong!! You can’t change her (or anybody else!). Correct: I want to stand up for myself. I want to change my job. I want to see her differently. I want … you get the idea.
3) What can I do right now: I can schedule a time to talk to her; I can update my resume; I can try to see the situation though her eyes ...
"I am remodeling my house. My work is so busy. The kids' school might be closing. I have not exercised for a week. My "to do" list is getting longer ... I don't know where to start ... "
Step 1: What is one tiny step you can do right now?
Step 2: Repeat Step 1
1) I am remodeling my house and there are so many decisions to make. I don't know where to start.
2) What is the smallest decision you can do right now? Find a decorator? Contractor? Look at Pinterst for ideas? Do it!
3) Repeat. Repeat. Your action will lower your feeling of being overwhelmed. When you notice your progress, new energy and enthusiasm will come back.
Have you seen the movie Bridge of Spies? There is an awesome quote where the spy is asked if he is not worried about the trial and his response is "Would it help?"
This is a very helpful question for any situation:
I am mad. Does it help?
I am overwhelmed. Does it help?
I am worried. Does it help?
I am scared. Does it help?
If your feelings are helping - great. If not - you will automatically see you don't "need" them and they change. All by themselves. Poof. Magic. Try it : )
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